Taking care of one's parents

Taking care of one’s parents when they are alive in their old ages

For acts of worship which require both financial and physical effort, I, myself have felt and seen others to rue afterwards - saying, ‘Oh! I wish I could do it better, I could concentrate more or could improve the quality a lot.’ We see this often for Hajj and Umrah. Many Muslims have this frustration in mind which leads them to perform Hajj and Umrah again and again. However, there is another very important obligation which Allaah has ordained us right after our duties towards Him.

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. [Al-Isra’ 17:23]

As I was saying, we do spend for our parents. But it often lacks the emotional touch they look forward to. We only get the chance to regret once they are not anymore. We think, ‘Oh! I could hug him/ her a little more than I used to. I wish I could kiss on their foreheads everyday.’ But, we do not get to repeat this like we can do for Hajj if we are alive. Once they are gone, the chance is gone. You can’t perfect it anymore. In our increased focus on mother for religious texts, we do often show less attachment to our father. But, as they (Fathers) get older, they want us to enquire about their well being everyday. They want us to touch them to show affection. They want us to ask them if they need anything. I urge my brothers and sisters to utilize this opportunity before it leaves us. Also, please help your spouse to fulfill it. As the wife should make it easy for her husband to spend on his parents, the husband should also help his wife to visit her parents and facilitate her effort to comfort them.

Please remember that a sign of good Deen is that one would regularly pray for his/ her parents and behave with them in best of manners. Being excellent outside while being mediocre at home is certainly not the type of Muslims -Mohammad SW taught us to be.

May Allaah help us not to be among those who couldn’t make it to Jannah despite finding their parents in their old ages.

Abu Aaisha